Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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