Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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