Dual....:-)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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