Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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