so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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