The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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