Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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