Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize