I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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