How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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