recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
