it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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