dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
