love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
In America we eat man semen.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
