I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
