I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
