Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
