idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
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Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
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He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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