is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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