i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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