Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
