You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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