Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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