There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
