I think im going to throw up on grandma
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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