Pants 0. Shit 1.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
