hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
