whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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