Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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