Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
