just come out here and I will go home with you...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
