it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
