I've blown a few things in my day
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
