I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
