Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize