Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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