We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
