When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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