Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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