I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
