I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
