i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
