Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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