He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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