I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
