I wish life had little blips of pornography
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
