They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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