I CAN MOONWALK!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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