I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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