she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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