ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
