Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
