Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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