its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
