Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
