We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
