lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We're using joints as your birthday candles
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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