check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize