I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
