Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I looked at my own cervix.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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