What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
