I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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