So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize